FRANKLYN C. STIFF EPISODE 1 PROMO

STANLEY C. STIFF Sketch 1 Frank DiSalvo Let’s welcome the President of the Chicago Funeral Parlor’s Association Franklyn C. Stiff. We’re honored to have You back on Wise Guys Cooking.

Franklyn Stiff I am pleased to be here “ALIVE” on your show again.

Frank DiSalvo How was the Grand Opening of you’re new Sunny Side Up Cemetery? It was something to behold.

Stiff Thanks To my daughter STILLA Who’s in charge of our Living Human Resources Department. She worked very hard to make our grand opening full of Life and excitement.

Frank DiSalvo Your daughter? STILLA STIFF?

Stiff Yes, my wonderful daughter Stilla Stiff. She has Her masters degree in Cremation Studies

Frank DiSalvo Cremation Studies?

Stiff Yes Frank, STILLA graduated with honors From “Last Watch University.” Her major Was Full Body Cremation.

DiSalvo How did she Liven things up?

Stiff Yes Frank, she’s created Sunny Side Up Cemetery atmosphere a place not to die, but a place to live.

Frank DiSalvo How did you come up with the name Sunny Side Up Cemetery??? Larry Capeloto I’ll have a side of bacon and a bisquit.

Frank DiSalvo Larry we’re talking about very serious matters here.

Larry Capeloto Just trying a little gallows humor.

Frank DiSalvo Save it Larry, and now back to Franklyn C. Stiff. How has she uplifted the Sunny Side Up Cemetery.

Stiff Yes the name of Sunny Side Up Cemetery. STILLA has created a new vision that gives our deceased Friends the feeling like you’re coming home. DiSalvo Coming home? Stiff Yes Frank, I’d like to invite you and Larry to come home. Stella can give you a personalized tour of our crematorium.

DiSalvo I’m sure it would be a trip to remember. Right Larry. (looks over at Larry he’s dozing off) Larry would love to visit, right Larry. (Nudges Larry)

LARRY Right on!

Stiff We feature Vibrant flowers, local art, and bubbling water features that line the paths that wind throughout our 50 acres of botanical gardens.

LARRY Sounds like heaven on earth.

STIFF I’ve picked out some spectacular Grave sites for you Larry and your Wise Guys Cooking cast. Side by side plots, as it were, that Could serve as your final resting places. You and pals can enjoying The mirth and merriment Above and Below the ground while Your audience watches repeats Of your TV show. .

Larry (Ad Lib) Kind of like a “Drive In” for the dead.

DiSalvo We’ll take a rain check on that Franklyn. What else can you tell us about Sunny Side Up Cemetery?

Stiff Sunny Side Up Cemetery is Very welcoming. For instance, one our clients recently lost Her loved one, the family honored his life By roasting baby back ribs in a fire pit next to the grave site with family members.

DISALVO Baby back ribs?

STIFF Yes Frank, Rather than Having a traditional funeral gathering with guests in Dark suits and formal dresses the family dressed in Hawaiian shorts and leis huddled around their loved One’s casket having a good old Fashioned Tail Gate Party.

DiSalvo That sounds like a great Celebration of life. You and your family Have really thought this thru. You are always welcome on our show. Thanks for your cemeterial information Franklyn. Let’s hear for Franklyn C. Stiff. We’ll be back after these messages

PROMO PODCAST DISLAVO FRANKLYN TELL OUR AUDIENCE ABOUT THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT THAT WILL CHANGE THE FUNERAL BUSINESS.

STIFF I want to announce that together with my family of Stiffs, Stella, Stilla, and my son, Stone, we are producing a Podcast that should take the Undertaking business by storm. It’s called “The Forever Cadaver Podcast.” I brought a short clip of our opening.

Podcast Open STIFF Welcome to my podcast where we put the word “FUN” back into the word Funeral. " THE FOREVER CADAVER PODCAST" is a weekly program with me, your host Franklyn C. Stiff. My podcasts will welcome folks that have died and come back to life. We will dig up, and discuss their out of body experiences. Where the dead speak — and do they have bones to pick. Each week, I will interview special guests who’ve technically died — flatlined, drowned, OD’d, or met their maker briefly — and returned to life.